SupremeDreamer30 Mar 2004

Children have their innocence and purity for but a short while before the world arounds them feeds them the seed that sprouts their inner beast.

I think you could compact this more and put more focus on the soul-searching, and less space travel.

"The world orbits me here"

That makes little or no sense since "orbit" generally means something around the lines of "to circle around an object after having been locked into that objects gravity.."

Even if you can use orbit in the sense that you've used it in your poem, it still comes off as bad english to me.

Blessed with seven.