"Self reliance is the way we're told" is poor wording.
The repetition of "All the while" is more irritating than interesting.
I would recommend not capitalizing the random religiousish words.
"Murmer" should be "murmur."
More importantly, I find this a supreme overstatement, a single idea refashioned about 30 minimally-different ways. I'd be interested in seeing how you would express the same idea in maybe 8 lines. Or how you'd fit more ideas into this (or a smaller) space. Take a look here for an idea of how that's done:
http://www.poemranker.com/user-browse.jsp?id=2640