zodiac6 Apr 2004

Foresake should be Forsake.

I'm a little muddy on 'the polite case', but I'm sure you mean something by it.

I would like to see you put a different punctuation after 'up' and eliminate the 'for' afterward. Though when I read it it sounds good.

I find it reads better with a comma after faked and no 'and' before 'worn'. See what you think.

'At your heart, a poor gown' is the weakest line and should be re-written. The last lines are really strong arresting etc, but I wonder if there's a better word to put in the place of 'worth'.

The form seems to work pretty well. You might consider putting some space in every couple of lines, though. I don't know, play around and see what you think.