poetandknowit
on Alone by Lil_Chick_512
14 Aug 2002, 12:18 PM
Holy crap, your are right. I didn't get that far. That is creepy. I now have goosebumps!
Childish but not a children's poem.
No, it dramatises the act/theme of departure. There are three moments/times in the poem: before an imminent departure, when it actually takes place and after it has taken place. The images/metaphors embody these
moments and emotions they evoke.
Hands off Titass96. This ones mine. Quit pretending like your interested in the process of writing, when you're just blowing smoke to get your poke. Besides, I say this, "Who are you, who am I, where is god, 911, Ossama Bin fadish trend, skater chick "gurl" introspective is total shit, and I read it over, and over, and over. Go skate board. You can't write. But yer shure pretty when you question "life". LoL!
Fuck you! Whoreass8. You still around? I thought they kicked you out for using imitation talent. Oh well, but anyways, fuck you! Ha! You suck! You blow! Gilla monster testicle!
Great title, superb imagery, flowish and tight. Grand ending! 7/10
This is quick, and to the point. Perfectly metered, and drains you just right at the end. "The valley of the dolls" is vindictively tantalizing.
I know what act/theme is going on here, but the metaphors are basic and not even good clich??s. Come on: "This is the spring of your winter season". "Cuts down the green tree of my lifetime." The stuff has been worked so hard so many times, it now sounds like it belongs on a soap opera.
parents can be real scary in the middle of the night...especially when you catch them humping and you've been drinking and you wanna hit them up for some motel cash and stuff, or a later curfew..this is my fave thus far of yours cuz it forced me to relive the experience and it has plenty of inuendos.............gaffle.jets.towelhe
I sure wish I know what the hell this one meant. Why The Coldest Hell and then the coldest hell later? And more brilliant use of the ellipsoidal!
that went right over my head, both of them. still.. slightly appealing though. 6/10 (aee you talking to yourself, and is the blue screen the tv pre-porn debauchal?)r
There is skilled use of metaphor (none here) and then there is stuff that just makes no sense (here). Come on. This could be: Open the door, walk out, close the door, goodbye, cry. Now that is powerful and it would have save a ton of space.
like this one!
pain comes with looking back
and trying to live there.!!!!!!! GO FORWORD
of course they care, that's why you're still around to write this. i was kinda hoping for a little more graphic violence, i was expecting evil dead part 2, instead i got a hello kitty slumber party, and i was not even invited...i look great in drag especially with a steak knife and no friends........suicide.realism.sadism.sh
you had drueling for the end then you let me down..facts! facts! what are facts put an opinion in the hand of a money fisted mannipulator?the line between opinion and fact goes in one nostril and out the other..like the bank of a river, or the admiration of a younger brother.a
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 12:14 PM
Beautiful ten times and again.
she died at the end, p&k. who do you think wrote it?
sap.
fuck yeah this wins the horus8 AWARD FOR CLOSED FIST BIRTH DAY WISH STAND FAST CAPTAINS MAST award for outstanding achievement in the art of building scarecrows that walk and talk. this is truly a ball of rage 9/10b