Re: Crack baby by Caducus	keatsImnot 193.117.108.69	7-Jul-05/7:54 AM
Some great lines "seeded fruit and rotten core"
Re: sprung by <~>	Dovina 69.175.32.185	8-Jul-05/10:22 AM
"the sorrow of an uncaged regret" good line. But to spring aloft on the wings of others with uncaged regrets seems counter to your theme, though quite poetic.
Re: The And women by INTRANSIT	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:47 AM
I still don't understand the "And" part. I love the title, but the connection is lacking.
Re: Our Soldiers by Lenore	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:51 AM
"Their life’s the war’s ; sometimes their death is, too!" Yeah, that kind of follows logically, doesn't it? The rest is decent. Live from the desert. Over and out.
Re: A Wider Sky by elderking	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:52 AM
skies, not skys.
Re: sad moments by rbooey	zodiac 86.108.11.226	7-Jul-05/2:53 AM
Good luck to you. Personally, I imagine God being thoroughly Old Testament and all of us getting the fiery poker in the rump.
Re: Crack baby by Caducus	Caducus 172.202.228.131	7-Jul-05/7:10 AM
FIXED !
Re: Crying Tears with No Home by TLRufener	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	7-Jul-05/9:30 AM
Not terrible but the grammtical and spelling mistakes are very noticeable. If you're going to write a poem in honor of your friend, you should at least take the ime to proofread it.
regarding some deleted poem...	<~> 167.206.181.179	8-Jul-05/6:17 AM
Cad, this passage is strikung: Framed in televisions this masterpiece comes alive as a soup of limbs stirred by microphones. this piece definitely expresses the sentiment of the meoment.
Re: Spontaneous Combustion by wilco	<~> 167.206.181.179	8-Jul-05/6:55 AM
this has a nice bounce to it until the last stanza. why did you break it?
Re: Pandemic’s Here Again by Lenore	Dovina 69.175.32.185	8-Jul-05/10:17 AM
If you refer to the London attacks, there's no need to tell the world; they know. If you mean that the world reacts too slowly, then I say we react fast enough, just with impotence.
Re: Damned by darby pyn	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.168.209	7-Jul-05/2:30 PM
not one of these lines produces any pictures or feelings in me. Mostly, I'm just confused. for instance: what does hiding have to do with wilting?
Re: London Calling by Bluemonkey	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.168.209	7-Jul-05/2:31 PM
ok
Re: Damned by darby pyn	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jul-05/2:33 PM
paralax stutters a beautiful disguise interaction is a pendulum These are the good lines in my opinion.
Re: Autumn by keatsImnot	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.130.168.209	7-Jul-05/2:33 PM
Autumn by definition is a time.
Re: Precious Smile by TLRufener	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jul-05/2:36 PM
Should end with "Lock up everything that is real" A lot of repeated ideas, but the theme is good.
Re: London Calling by Bluemonkey	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jul-05/2:40 PM
Good except for "twisted game of evolution."
Re: Autumn by keatsImnot	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jul-05/2:42 PM
I'd like to see more than just a description of autumn.
Re: Almost Persuaded by Dovina	darby pyn 207.200.116.130	7-Jul-05/3:46 PM
the title seems to imply it's about someone persuading another into having sex. it's ok.... but a little mechanical. it needs more emotion. just my opinion.
Re: Butterfly Plague by zodiac	Lenore 64.252.101.156	8-Jul-05/8:49 AM
"Here's a naked-necked girl laughing in a square, thumbnail sawing an orange-skin. How grey and soft-bodied, these! " Vivid image. I can smell the tang.