cuddlytiger17
replying on I'll Make It Through by cuddlytiger17
18 Jul 2004, 9:39 PM
Personally I think this is pretty bad. I don't do too well with expressing positive emotions, at least not in writing. They come out sounding pretty corny. lol. But thank you! :)
nope. sorry.
After some (although most certainly not extensive) research, I have decided that it is not.
You're getting better.
lol thanks i appreciate that. But really, why so low?
Ever heard the song "Shatterday" from Vendetta Red? Well, that's where I got the idea to write "Countdown." And yeah, obviously the numbers are there so it will rhyme...
Sometimes it's less painful to think of a person who hates us and with whom we have to live as an illusion. It's not ideal, but useful. Try a : after "The only thing he found out"
I respect your opinions, but consider this:
1. In our thoughts we experience an idea of the most perfect being.
2. Existence in reality is more perfect than existence in our thoughts alone.
3. Therefore the most perfect being exists in reality.
Now, clearly God is no deceiver, and thus what we experience must be reality.
Thank you, but why 6?
I have crafted poems which have puzzled me in time, became paradoxes and riddles I had not intended. But rather than becoming âconvinced of their insignificance . . . or . . . stigmatized by capricious alienation,â I have sometimes reveled in âsubtle intricacies [that] emerge incognito from tense silence.â - maybe some of the things in verses 2 and 3. Verse 4 starts to turn this thing around, and verse 5 has the great line, âThoughts stem from an undertow urge to be the victim.â But rather than nod to the value of the poemâs transformation as it merely sat there, the last verse maintains âa ghostly-grim humorist suffocated by pessimism.â The last three words are pivotal, and Iâd like to see them change.
that's why i said ...this nothingness of illusion ..we are tring to do with language ...forget it ..try to understand beyond ...this is our weakness that we are click on things we love ...there are many things in this world we dont love so we are lost in our selfishness and we lost our vision ..this simplicity of the aspect to the truth of our dark world
..thank you ..that was what i expected from you..to react in this way .......let ourselves reach enlightment instead of getting too busy at world ..it may doest exist ..it is jus illusion of your mind ..
that was good
"Is," he cried.
"n't," I added.
"Is"
"n't"
"Is"
"n't"
Are we just toying
with shadows of illusions?
That's a fair comment. I have upgraded you to a 2.
That's amazing. I was in the Hobgoblin only last night.
Cheer up love. "Rogue of the gallows" made me giggle a bit. Otherwise, que tu es formidable. (How you are formidable).
The best to you,
Doug
Thanks for the advice, but I'm still trying to get beyond the breakers at Long Beach.
It seems the numbers are there to rhyme, unless I'm missing something. Last two lines are good.
Beautiful poem. :)