little_big_nose
on one true love (beta test) by crwncka1
4 Jan 2004, 5:48 PM
Wow, thats all i can say
this poem was so confusing it's great
Really really good. Based on the fact that Tinty-G is your referrer, and this poem, I'd say you'll be moving on soon.
Hmmm. Your moniker suggests something juvenile. Your topics don't. I would suggest combining this with the other (8 minutes). The good morning simply needs more material. Wear your safety belt. It can be a rough ride around these parts.
...they need point-fives when voting.
Again, this is possibly simply the fact of the near-full moon, but...intimations of the Other Side? or, to quote, "dustbunnies where there are none"?
Written for my ex girlfriend as an anniversary present... and smashing Pumkins is her favorite band...
ok, let me see if I got this: You (a slave with a master) were playing with matches under a lark's nest, the fire got a little out of hand and people started singing, their chorus drowning out the chirping of the lark as everyone rushed to and fro trying to put the fire out. You realized that once again you screwed up, because every time play with fire without your master's supervision, you accidentally set larks' nests on fire. You're so confused now that you forget how to get home so you hope your loving master will show up and show you the path so you can go home where he will care for you, but you're pretty sure he will make you crawl home begging.
Pardon me, but WHAT THE HELL are you TALKING about??? Are you, like, some kind of bdsm scene person who sets fires and then gets their "master" to spank them for it? Is this a fetish poem?
I don't get it.
You seem to have put effort into getting the syllable count correct. Unfortunately it should be 5-7-5 not 5-5-7.
Personally I would say abandon the syllable counting and just write something in the spirit of haiku.
This poem is by no stretch of the imagination a haiku, but nevertheless I find it cute.
yes, maybe the two of you can squat together in a blind corner with your trousers down and have g/God suck both your asses at once.
Sir, I believe you'll be delighted to discover that Pomeranker Trousers stay well-hoisted with minimum effort, even when one is not naturally well-endowed with the appropriate protuberances. You just pin them up with the little orange wings they come with.
Sir,
Let us hope these temporary trousers aren't as temporary as the pair that fell down mid-way through my hour long acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize in Advanced Trouser Suspension Utilities. I don't think the Gentleman's Guilde would tolerate another public "fall from grace", do you?
Regards,
Professor Eustace Q. Bloomington
and tis the year of the monkey