replying on Strength by Dovina
8 Sep 2005, 11:56 AM
No, because she is a self-controlled person who holds her rage. I am not so self-controlled.
on Small-town Postal Clerk Considers Inspiration by zodiac
6 Sep 2005, 6:22 AM
Some good lines, but as a story, it lacks continuity. The German thing comes too late.
replying on First Love by Dovina
6 Sep 2005, 6:14 AM
And after all that romping around. I must never have seen winnnnnter.
replying on First Love by Dovina
6 Sep 2005, 6:13 AM
I see, and saw before you said the trite thing, your point.
replying on First Love by Dovina
6 Sep 2005, 6:12 AM
The word "that" when used in a poem is distrsacting to me. I avoid it in favor of brevity, and at the expense of rhythm, most of the time. Meaning is better than rhythm, in my possibly obsolete opinion.
on Untitled by bellafuego
4 Sep 2005, 2:44 PM
Try again when you're sober.
replying on Beware of Cruel Poets by Dovina
4 Sep 2005, 2:43 PM
Do you know that, being a new user, or are you speculating?
on Powerless Dreamer by Beyond_Dreams
4 Sep 2005, 11:33 AM
Smooth
"no sunlight had"
"no sunlight had"
on Lessons(revised) by bellafuego
4 Sep 2005, 11:18 AM
2+2=4 no matter how many times you revise it. The last line, and all but the second, make sense.
I'm sitting at a bar where there's an internet computer sunk into the bar, with a wireless keyboard and mouse. The black russian is sweet under a hot Texasn sun. Subjected to such adversity, do you really expect me to see some cajun hurricane or the end of mankind. No, of course you don't. Mankind sit all around, all girlfriended or wived. And all you can complain about is a few thousand miserble flooded, crushed lives.
replying on First Love by Dovina
3 Sep 2005, 6:51 AM
The lady next to me did that in a charismatic meeting and hit me in the eye.
replying on First Love by Dovina
3 Sep 2005, 6:45 AM
Skip straightly around zodiac, if you want. Do you think he really didn't get it?
replying on First Love by Dovina
3 Sep 2005, 6:41 AM
Is your point that "I wasn’t winter-broken, though, I thought that it would stay." has a better beat than "I wasn’t winter-broken, I thought it would stay."? Do you really mean that four beats is better than three? The prior lines don't carry a steady number of beats, why should the last two? Is rhythm really more important?
replying on First Love by Dovina
3 Sep 2005, 6:34 AM
Do you really not see the point?