Comments byDovina, 2381–2400 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

replying on Strength by Dovina 8 Sep 2005, 11:56 AM
No, because she is a self-controlled person who holds her rage. I am not so self-controlled.
Some good lines, but as a story, it lacks continuity. The German thing comes too late.
replying on Strength by Dovina 6 Sep 2005, 6:17 AM
It would necessetate raging if I felt as strongly about it as I think she does. Does that make it more understandable?
replying on Strength by Dovina 6 Sep 2005, 6:16 AM
Yes, mam, right away. Thanks.
replying on First Love by Dovina 6 Sep 2005, 6:14 AM
And after all that romping around. I must never have seen winnnnnter.
replying on First Love by Dovina 6 Sep 2005, 6:13 AM
I see, and saw before you said the trite thing, your point.
replying on First Love by Dovina 6 Sep 2005, 6:12 AM
The word "that" when used in a poem is distrsacting to me. I avoid it in favor of brevity, and at the expense of rhythm, most of the time. Meaning is better than rhythm, in my possibly obsolete opinion.
on Untitled by bellafuego 4 Sep 2005, 2:44 PM
Try again when you're sober.
replying on Beware of Cruel Poets by Dovina 4 Sep 2005, 2:43 PM
Do you know that, being a new user, or are you speculating?
on Powerless Dreamer by Beyond_Dreams 4 Sep 2005, 11:33 AM
Smooth

"no sunlight had"
on Lessons(revised) by bellafuego 4 Sep 2005, 11:18 AM
2+2=4 no matter how many times you revise it. The last line, and all but the second, make sense.
on Dale by INTRANSIT 3 Sep 2005, 9:55 AM
What's left? Black russians, that's what. Far super over White, in every way. I've never taught a man to play darts and then have him beat his father. Maybe you need another lesson.
replying on The Scout by wilco 3 Sep 2005, 9:40 AM
I'm sitting at a bar where there's an internet computer sunk into the bar, with a wireless keyboard and mouse. The black russian is sweet under a hot Texasn sun. Subjected to such adversity, do you really expect me to see some cajun hurricane or the end of mankind. No, of course you don't. Mankind sit all around, all girlfriended or wived. And all you can complain about is a few thousand miserble flooded, crushed lives.
replying on The fight by INTRANSIT 3 Sep 2005, 7:02 AM
If it's a naughtiness scale, you get 10.
on The Scout by wilco 3 Sep 2005, 7:00 AM
"virgin canvas" has no picture, yet a tale unfolds. Also, "scout" as if searching ahead for some group of people - maybe another word. A way it could have gone, and might go.
on The fight by INTRANSIT 3 Sep 2005, 6:55 AM
Very naughty! Go straight to your room!
replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:51 AM
The lady next to me did that in a charismatic meeting and hit me in the eye.
replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:45 AM
Skip straightly around zodiac, if you want. Do you think he really didn't get it?
replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:41 AM
Is your point that "I wasn’t winter-broken, though, I thought that it would stay." has a better beat than "I wasn’t winter-broken, I thought it would stay."? Do you really mean that four beats is better than three? The prior lines don't carry a steady number of beats, why should the last two? Is rhythm really more important?
replying on First Love by Dovina 3 Sep 2005, 6:34 AM
Do you really not see the point?