on Everything That You've Ever Wanted by drnick
9 Feb 2006, 10:40 PM
don't be so hard on yourself--the imagery isn't bad. Neither is the poem.
on some deleted poem
9 Feb 2006, 10:42 PM
Kind of treacly.
on The Acorn Daisies by MacFrantic
9 Feb 2006, 10:45 PM
Not sure I know what "acorn daisies" are, but this is pretty good. Like the last couple of lines, especially.
on My Fatherâs World by Dovina
9 Feb 2006, 10:50 PM
"I proudly showed one too" is pretty good. "A canvas tarp on his shoulder heaved" is a little tortured though. There are a lot of things you could rhyme with leaves without flipping the "heaved" line.
Would a working class guy who uses words like gumption know that unction means ointment? seems like a funny word to use.
Would a working class guy who uses words like gumption know that unction means ointment? seems like a funny word to use.