on Welsh Landscape Part One by Nicholas Jones
16 Jan 2003, 8:32 AM
amen.
replying on not even soup by <~>
16 Jan 2003, 7:17 AM
sounds delicious. today, i have some leftovers--stuffed cabbage, and veggies. i am looking forward to them very much. sometimes, food, sunshine, a glass of water, even--these are everything.
on The Poem of an Eighth-Grader by jessicazee
15 Jan 2003, 10:55 PM
very sweet. excellent idea for a poem. nice comparison.
okay, adult crticism, since you posted on an adult site:
dandelions don't lose color at night; they close up. it's really cool to watch. so, lesson #1: write about what you know. that being said, the 'help' page on this site has some great references. this is one of my favorites:
http://www.uni.edu/english/craft/imagery
keep up the good work!
okay, adult crticism, since you posted on an adult site:
dandelions don't lose color at night; they close up. it's really cool to watch. so, lesson #1: write about what you know. that being said, the 'help' page on this site has some great references. this is one of my favorites:
http://www.uni.edu/english/craft/imagery
keep up the good work!
on Anchored pockets by INTRANSIT
15 Jan 2003, 10:43 PM
dammit. why is no one ever awake when i am?
on the midget of humiliation by Bill Z Bub
15 Jan 2003, 10:42 PM
some very nice moments.
your last stanza feels incomplete (though beautiful) to me.
your last stanza feels incomplete (though beautiful) to me.
on Anchored pockets by INTRANSIT
15 Jan 2003, 10:36 PM
if you change the 2nd line to this:
thus becoming lazy
and the last to this:
but it won't make me move.
your rhyming will be easier on the brain, and your meter on the ear.
thus becoming lazy
and the last to this:
but it won't make me move.
your rhyming will be easier on the brain, and your meter on the ear.
on Break Dancing Charlie by <{Baba^Yaga}>
15 Jan 2003, 10:28 PM
was it my tape deck?
why must you ?
never mind.
watch out for the gas when you drop them in the tank.
why must you ?
never mind.
watch out for the gas when you drop them in the tank.
replying on joyriding by Bill Z Bub
15 Jan 2003, 10:11 PM
have you been carousing with tint?
on Tom & Jerry by Bachus
15 Jan 2003, 1:36 PM
ha!
replying on The blue light special. by Jeremi B. Handrinos
15 Jan 2003, 1:13 PM
ainsi soit il, mon frere.
replying on The blue light special. by Jeremi B. Handrinos
15 Jan 2003, 12:58 PM
made to be broken, then eh?
like a blue light special, it defies reality.
like a blue light special, it defies reality.
replying on Bobjim, Jimbob by Spider-Man
15 Jan 2003, 10:43 AM
WAR? yes, full on.
oh. my. you seem to have forgotten your flak jacket today, jbh. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH! RET TAT TATATATAT TAT TAT TAT!
HAHAH!
gotcha.
one down, three to go.
oh. my. you seem to have forgotten your flak jacket today, jbh. AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH! RET TAT TATATATAT TAT TAT TAT!
HAHAH!
gotcha.
one down, three to go.
on 'Fucky Fucky 5 Dollar' by scitz
15 Jan 2003, 10:18 AM
obviously, you had either been served quite a few when you wrote this, or were so deranged from want of drink, that this was like a DT revelation for you. funny story, but what did you learn from the experience? except, of course, how to go both ways? snoggity snog snog.
on strange beds (1989) by Bill Z Bub
13 Jan 2003, 7:46 PM
mr bub, this is leaps and bounds beyond the first draft. kudos.
on The shirt I wore to dinner. by Jeremi B. Handrinos
13 Jan 2003, 7:05 PM
beautiful! wasabi for everyone! on me, motherfuckah!!!!
replying on Where is My BabyGirl? by ChunkyHunkyMonkey
13 Jan 2003, 6:25 PM
a calligraphied lampshade, the likes of which none have seen. ever.
replying on Fire And Fuck by Bonehiss
13 Jan 2003, 3:53 PM
not to mention a kale gun.
on RAP MASTER by UAFANTHORPEY
13 Jan 2003, 11:57 AM
feelin' noxius meself
needs to be 'has blown' or 'blew'' methinks.