on some deleted poem
25 Jan 2007, 8:27 PM
Poor deluded critter!
on some deleted poem
25 Jan 2007, 5:24 AM
Only you are captured.
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2007, 12:56 PM
The content is fine. I have a little trouble with the form, but I am learning how to get over that, as a reader does have some responsibility. What bothers me is how everything is put together as an idea or group of ideas. It is like watching a bag of marbles spilling out and trying to focus on one in the stream. It could be just my bad vision (metaphorically speaking) or lack of proper intelligence (reality speaking). It seems more of a street-corner rant. (Sorry about the double message, I spelled a word wrong )
on some deleted poem
15 Jan 2007, 5:44 PM
Fixed.
on some deleted poem
27 Jan 2007, 4:16 PM
Lower case signifying self rather good. I find this to be quite humorous (the whole of the work). Even if you are an old poster scamming, I enjoyed the read.
on some deleted poem
27 Jan 2007, 8:04 PM
You are persistently bad.
on some deleted poem
28 Jan 2007, 8:24 AM
Just as bad as all the rest of your stuff.
on some deleted poem
18 Jan 2007, 7:37 AM
My lovely wife likes the first version better, but Shuushin is correct in the need for brevity in a poem. I would have preferred chatoyant to pearly in describing cataracts. Unfortunately, I think most people would not know what the word meant.
I just re-read a couple of your posts to see why you rated above a zero. If you left of the homilies (that word does not quite fit, but is as close as I can get), they would be good. This is only my opinion.
I do not believe this rates an 8, but will not fault you for it.
I just re-read a couple of your posts to see why you rated above a zero. If you left of the homilies (that word does not quite fit, but is as close as I can get), they would be good. This is only my opinion.
I do not believe this rates an 8, but will not fault you for it.
on some deleted poem
19 Jan 2007, 6:04 PM
You are your mess. I am not sure you know what poetry is. Have you looked the word up?
on some deleted poem
23 Jan 2007, 1:57 AM
Critter you will never get what you think you deserve. It does not matter how you shape your words, you are too self-absorbed to be interesting. The part about you that could be amusing, if I were the sort who likes to pull the wings off flies to watch them crawl instead of zing, is that you will pluck out of all these words nothing of my meaning. I realize this is a failing of mine, not yours. Still I think you have an extremely bad case of diarrhea.
on some deleted poem
23 Jan 2007, 7:52 AM
I can see that you are trying. At least I think you are trying.
on some deleted poem
23 Jan 2007, 8:00 AM
This is not close to good and as I am not a teacher of language or poetry I can not tell you what is wrong, let alone how to fix it. I am only capable of liking or disliking and I have not liked any of your posts. You have not posted enough for a real judgment as to whether or not this is for real or that you are pulling off a sham.
on some deleted poem
24 Jan 2007, 6:37 AM
From nowhere to nowhere in 5 stanzas.
on some deleted poem
24 Jan 2007, 6:39 AM
No, you did not.
on some deleted poem
21 Jan 2007, 1:36 PM
Way to much IT.
on some deleted poem
30 Jan 2007, 7:41 AM
Yeah! One idea carried through to the bitter end. A very nice bleak picture and excellent sick humor as well.
on some deleted poem
3 Feb 2007, 6:28 AM
This is cute, but not even close to as good as your first post.
on some deleted poem
31 Jan 2007, 7:05 PM
The idea is unfleshed and stale in the way it is presented.
on some deleted poem
2 Feb 2007, 4:23 AM
I donât see or feel your music. Afire HUH? Almost as good as caressing your heart with a knife {your first post in, in case you donât remember, encased as you are in bliss}. You seem to be in love with the idea of pain.
on some deleted poem
2 Feb 2007, 5:18 AM
This is your best post yet, a real hole slammer! Or is that slam dunker!