Typo- it's suppose to read THEY to will haver trouble adjusting. Not I. I mean me. I mean I have my own troubles, like using a keyboard for example.

I don't speak your language. Can you say that in English?

Fetch the pills is a stand out. The rest I'm sad to say is overdone. It's dry and difficult to chew. I had to spit it out and hide it under the place mat. Don't tell ma. 2

I haven't seen such a pretty lyric since the French stormed the Bastille. May I memorize this. You will get all the credit. 10

Morituri te salutamus. I'm certain into is a single word, not 2 separate, I looked it up for you just to be sure. Is the sun fiendish? I suppose it is fiendish to watch and do nothing. The sun, to my mind, would throw beams of bright or make waves go bright. But the sun throwing waves is hard for my particular brain to accept. These are unimportant observations, but they did come to me. Take them with a grain of salt. Otherwise ne plus ultra. I've spent a lot of time underwater. You've got the scenery right. 10

good arc. Door opens, heroe enters, darkness gives way to revelation, door closes. It should be boiled down slightly. The 5th stanza is sound as is. 7

this poem is not only awful, but long and awful. Have any of your friends read this? Ask them their honest opinions because since you don't know me you'll assume I'm just being mean, when I'm nothing but sincere. There's so much gobblety-gook. Ideas are poetic not words. I get tired reading this because your choice of words not only adds nothing but detracts from the whole. You can't communicate using this formula ya'all seem to have confused for poetry. Go to the library and look up some of the best. Their work never ever sounds or looks like this. big fat 0.

betwixt??? What is wrong with between? Is betwixt more "poetic" "intelligent" "thoughtful" "revealing"? wishfully impending??? It is regretable how many of you dis-embowel the poignancy right out of your very own ideas. You must not even be aware how high-hatted your writing style is to have print this. 0

If your lucky. Would you mind terribly actually making a critique of the poem. Few people read me and even fewer add any words of advice. I thank you in advance.

It's hard for me to rank this... It's clever and not at all pretentious, which on this sight are rare commodities. If I had 2 I'd give one to you, is a gem of a rhymn, I don't get the last line though. Is your girlie getting one because she's turning into something undesirable, or because she' a transexual? In the opoem I mean. 7

Good poem. Especially cherish lose live. Somes this whole whirling thing up in 3 tidy words. I'm happy. 9/10.

Very Lewis Carroll I hate discribing this poem this way I mean Lewis Carroll is not an adjective but it is very Louis Carroll" It's silly and fun and well constructed. 8/10

That's tough. I'd like to see a poem about that. Is there one? Also I saw a beautiful guitar shaped poem of yours but had to leave my desk and now I can't find it. What's the title?

That was some kick ass writing! Your comment I mean, very moving,I was right there holding your hand, I'm sorry for your loss,keep writing this way. Isn't it the man's pride and his wife's pride that are getting in the way here? Does he love her? His wife I mean.

Would have been good without the visual representation. Better with it. How do you do that? I'd like to learn. TRACED HER F HOLE WITH THE TIP OF MY FINGER makes my vagina feel good. xxxtra points 10/10

See, it's always about belief systems. I haven't seen marriage work in such a long time. Not to say it can't, but there are so many people to love who love us back and make life a joy. Monogamy is difficult at best, but when it's for all the wrong reasons, it's the saddest thing I know. Being a parent,I know how much I want to protect my son but the truth is the reality and if I hide the truth from my child, I am contributing to the Grand Lie which only helps to make my boy mal-adjusted. Life is well life, and the children deserve to learn the truth of how people behave,in or out of love. Just as your sad beau grew up with the false belief in the perfect marriage/husband/father he is perpetuating that lie for his babies. I to will have troubles adjusting when the reality reveals it's self. The positive thing is you'll get a lot of insight and artistic inspiration from these acute emotions.

He would have to be untrue to his beliefs, which are not concrete. If only some one could tell him that changing beliefs is part of maturing. He is being untrue to himself to you to his wife to his children and to love. Now I'm crying.

The only dignity is truth.

Good good good! Surely your blooming is a lovely thing sounds wonderful. Great 8/10

Amputate the first 2 stanzas and you've got a 10. Try it.