DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

In the berth

Member since 2002 · Posted 9 May 2004 · Edited 25 Nov 2007 · 15 comments

Some nights the warm reaching wind rocks my truck hushshshshsh hushshshshsh Sometimes a train passes beating its' open boxcar song. blumblum blumblum blumblum blumblum Some nights I lie in the plushness of the contented cat underneath the hood. And in the just right sleeping weather I leave my curtains open and look up.

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15 comments

[9] deleted user 9-May-04/12:01 PM Reply

I'm fighting sleep just reading this. Lullaby. Nice.

[10] cleverdevice 10-May-04/3:05 AM Reply

Beautiful.

[9] Shuushin 10-May-04/6:59 PM Reply

For a minute - I was in my own cab. good un.

[10] fevriere 22-Oct-04/4:51 PM Reply

I love it.

[8] Dovina 10-Oct-05/6:41 PM Reply

Nice, but do you really hear a cat's purr from under the hood?

[n/a] INTRANSIT › Dovina 11-Oct-05/9:09 AM Reply

Considering it's a CATerpillar engine, yes.

[n/a] INTRANSIT › Dovina 11-Oct-05/2:23 PM Reply

and is it just me , or is there something just not grammatically correct going into that part. one and two jive but the segway seems off....

[n/a] ALChemy 11-Oct-05/4:05 AM Reply

I just posted a poem with the same title (guess I shoulda checked first). This one's better in some ways but also much easier to write.

[n/a] INTRANSIT › ALChemy 11-Oct-05/9:24 AM Reply

No harm done.

[9] Niphredil 11-Oct-05/11:31 AM Reply

sorry to repeat previous comments, but I loved it. ;-)

[9] Niphredil 11-Oct-05/11:32 AM Reply

(however, don't you think that "it's" should be changed to "its", as in

Or a freight train passes
singing its empty boxcar song;
?)

[n/a] INTRANSIT › Niphredil 11-Oct-05/1:36 PM Reply

OMG ! ! ! That's such an obvious mistake I can't believe I missed it!!! Thank you!!!

[n/a] INTRANSIT 25-Nov-07/11:25 AM Reply

In another edit I've condensed the opener into two lines, and the closer into two lines. Also contemplating replacing -cat- with -engine.

[9] Skamper › INTRANSIT 26-Nov-07/6:16 PM Reply

the 'cat' gives a two fold image...you need to keep that in. I like the image... :)

Not usually a favourite of mine - the 'sound effects' but you played it well

[n/a] Dental Panic 29-Nov-07/5:57 AM Reply

the sound effects make it an infant thing - don't know if that's intentional. It's wasted on me, that's for sure.
I like the cat though. prrrr prrrrrrrrrrr