poemranker ::Lovely as a Lapland Night: Sort of a Sonnet by Nicholas Jones

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Sonnet № 103100

Lovely as a Lapland Night: Sort of a Sonnet

by Nicholas Jones

Member since 2002 · Posted 24 May 2004 · 4 comments

I) The experiment: description, method, aims. High concept: drive ideas into rock Drill fast and hard and find both truth and hope But: problems arise, even now the bit has struck A substance with which, (fuck), it will not cope. Yet: thoughts will fight through to etch their way behind The hardened obstacle that threatens us. The core is reached, this pinnacle of mind Will show the truth of inner consciousness. II) Results: Initial prediction proves to be incorrect. Now: renewed explosions shatter these assumptions - High concept thoughts instead must emanate From frozen tundra of innate desolation, Blank vast vistas of oil-drained drilled-down lakes. III) Revised plan based on this discovery. So: drill yet further, the concept now to find Truth from blasting and tearing into the human mind.

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4 comments

[8] Shuushin 24-May-04/8:46 AM Reply
Interesting. Get rid of the "sort of..."; it's a sonnet. Anyone who argues that is lacking the expertise to be taken seriously.

The [conjuction]: is a little distracting... what is it buying you for this cost?



[n/a] Nicholas Jones › Shuushin 26-May-04/6:32 AM Reply
You could argue it's not quite a sonnet because the now: and so: things often add extra stresses to the lines, which aren't always proper iambic pentameters.

I like the use of the colon. It suggests a sense of cause and effect, and messes about with the rhythm.
[8] Shuushin › Nicholas Jones 26-May-04/6:48 AM Reply
Agreed, one could argue it. Certain specific types of sonnets require consistent rising and falling rythm over ten beats - but not all.

I've warmed up on the colon use, gives it a nice flavor. Good one.
[n/a] Nicholas Jones › Shuushin 26-May-04/6:50 AM Reply
Well, it's certainly a pseudo-sonnet. I'm glad you like the colon thing, it's supposed to be slightly scientific and technical. Don't ask me what the title means though.