poemranker ::Amateur night - God, a one man show by fair12

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Free verse № 103926

Amateur night - God, a one man show

Member since 2003 · Posted 2 Jun 2004 · Edited 2 Jun 2004 · 2 comments

This dark road is filled with more bumps Than the napropatholigist can smooth With his two stout hands, The stones are dark, And wind worn, And zing past us, Whipping through a bleak Blue sky as a punishment Of living, and we wait And keep waiting, For some great pardon That never seems to come It is the turning of dirt In a fallow field, Waiting on seeds That never bloom, And still we break our backs, Lead the ox, toil A days worth of sweat, Throats dry, And thirsting And though the trough Is empty, we somehow Return again, hoping That one day The earth will forgive, Man will cease Their progressive descent And that God Just might have A mammoth sense of humor

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2 comments

[8] god'swife 2-Jun-04/1:08 PM Reply
The last line's a mammoth disappointment. Some very good lines and structure. In S2, I can't tell if you or the stones are whipping through a bleak blue sky, needs clearing up.
[n/a] fair12 › god'swife 2-Jun-04/1:48 PM Reply
any suggestions for the last line? Your husband and Murphy are a cosmic pain in the ass this week.....