poemranker ::finally i say goodbye by francis nor capule

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Free verse № 106898

finally i say goodbye

by francis nor capule

Member since 2004 · Posted 30 Jun 2004 · Edited 1 Jul 2004 · 4 comments

finally i say goodbye not without reason but with acceptance the acceptance that came from realizing realizing that you never will be free once i thought you were and everything i did everything, though somehow fell short now i never have to feel unlucky i never have to question my being and just accept the fact that we never were meant to be the fact that i have been in love that i have the capacity to care for someone to do anything and everything for someone other than me that i have to thank you for that i have to dwell on that someone i have to find so finally i say goodbye

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4 comments

[6] Dovina 30-Jun-04/1:04 PM Reply
Though this appears to be heartfelt and a thought worthy of poetry, the presentation falls short of one of the best definitions of love I've read and a touching ode to a fallen sister, both by the same poet. It's not just you; a spirit of depression seems gripping poemranker like a disease in a beehive. I feel like a prodical daughter returning to find the houses boarded up and the homefolk moping around.
[9] Nateislate 30-Jun-04/1:07 PM Reply
Good poem. For my $.02, I didn't like this line:

i will take solace in the fact that i have been in love

The poem is otherwise taking-care-of-business, let's-move-on. That line felt out of place, too touchy-feely and like you're justifying past mistakes. Said another way, 'solace' is an emotion word stuck in the middle of a poem centered on logic and thought.
[0] god'swife 30-Jun-04/4:41 PM Reply
Stand in front of the mirror and read this out loud. Let me know what you think.
[8] Shuushin 1-Jul-04/6:51 PM Reply
The repetition helps this, I think - but the theme is so often done that reader sympathy is difficult.