Southern Mississippii Standstill

Member since 2004 · Posted 16 Jul 2004 · 8 comments

Arms draped like willows, Althea caught the sunbeams laughing at the tide. She chased them across wide fields of ecru grasses until the stars grew. When they turned their shine away from her smiling face, fireflies were left. Eyes closed like cave-ins, Althea caught the sunbeams falling across dreams.

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10 votes so far. Yours would make 11.10 votes so far

8 comments

[9] richa 16-Jul-04/1:32 PM Reply

Very pretty, like the feign of line two to three on the first verse. No need for full stops after each verse.

[10] Dovina 16-Jul-04/1:53 PM Reply

Very sensual, pleasing.

[7] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 16-Jul-04/5:00 PM Reply

When I think of southern USA, I imagine swamps and those boats that look a bit like hovercrafts, and men with dungarees and pitchforks and pigs under their arms. And also of Lynyrd Skynyrd. Maybe you should work these things into your poem.

[n/a] wilco › ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 17-Jul-04/10:23 AM Reply

That's exactly how it is down here. Except you forgot about the guy in the overalls playing banjo on the steps of the general store. We also like to sleep with our relatives, go to Klan rallies and drink moonshine.

[7] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? › wilco 17-Jul-04/4:01 PM Reply

And listen to ZZ Top. And Johnny Rebel.

[7] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? › ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 17-Jul-04/4:07 PM Reply

And you are policed by two vigilantes who drive round in an orange car called "the General Lee."

[n/a] zodiac › ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 19-Jul-04/3:03 AM Reply

The Southern US is exactly like Jordan, which is exactly like Northern Mexico, which is actually like any Northern UK mining town or any town at all in Wales.

[9] INTRANSIT 20-Jul-04/6:18 AM Reply

don't like cave-ins. Still, enjoyable.