Pomegranate Girl

Member since 2002 · Posted 17 Aug 2004 · 4 comments

By the palace of gold There stands a ruin And beneath indented pillars Is a fruit for sale She has a name for everyman Who gnaw at her unripe rind Unpeeling her as six hands rape her Itâs all about time. The pomegranate girl takes her cut Fat Buddhaâs in a thin fan The toothless clinker takes his cut Checking his ghetto concubineâs dry He spits at her in the gutter As she clicks her ruby slippers Looking up at the stormy sky.

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14 votes so far. Yours would make 15.14 votes so far

4 comments

[9] INTRANSIT 17-Aug-04/12:06 PM Reply

I wish I had more time.

[9] INTRANSIT 17-Aug-04/12:10 PM Reply

I think you would do better to lose any rhyme here, even accidental. Good to see ya.

[8] wilco 17-Aug-04/3:36 PM Reply

I like this one too, but the rhyme takes away from it, I think.

[6] G-F 19-Aug-04/12:58 AM Reply

I disagree I think that the rhyming adds to the psuedo whimsical nature of the poem it adds a sarcastic twinge. However I feel that If you want to go this route then perhaps you should go all the way. I would Like to see this as a sonnet. But then again I'm just naturally one for pervercity.