To You

I saw you Writing your razorblade poetry All about angels and crosses and barbed wire And how much you wanted to die All fear and grief and vomit Wrapped in words. I saw you Crying so the snot ran down your face Swaddled in blankets and stuffed toys Huddled in corners and closets Head in lap, whimpering, trembling Waiting for phantom blows. I saw you Blood running down your arms Words and symbols carved in your legs Marked with scars, covered with scabs And bandages. As if by hurting yourself You could erase your past. Remember that. Remember how, when you needed me I was there for you. Remember how Fragile you were. How I told you The truth. How I gave you comfort Unmarked with expectations. I will remember you This day you told me you had nothing But careful words and the occasional empathy For me. How after three years of doglike loyalty You scooped me up in yesterday's newspaper And dispassionately discarded me. You are now Another barb on my stupid-me flail A reminder of my astro-turf nature One of my collection of "use me" tattoos A distant memory of the friend I once was To you.