poemranker ::Twin Forks by auscot

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Lyric № 116950

Twin Forks

Member since 2004 · Posted 20 Dec 2004 · 10 comments

TWIN FORKS Twin forks, a leafless silhouette against the sky. A resting place for wings too tired to fly. Bright eyed, cavorting possums, nightly bring, added strain to each dying, aging limb. How long before surrender, break and fall, no more a refuge standing stark and tall. And seen against a sky so blue by day, the skeletal shape a shining silver grey. One day these aged boughs will tumble down, to lie, decay and crumble, on the ground. No longer will I look, without regret, these branches then forever lost to me, and yet, not lost, returned to the earth below, to nurture seedlings, which perhaps will grow, and form another lofty haven, over time, to be seen by other eyes, alas, not mine.

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mean 8.00 weighted 5.81 rank 1681 views 178 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

10 comments

[10] Lifeboatman 21-Dec-04/4:46 AM Reply
hehe.. 10
[n/a] auscot › Lifeboatman 22-Dec-04/4:55 PM Reply
Thanks, can't get better than 10.
[9] Dovina 21-Dec-04/3:07 PM Reply
Your best so far. Quite good.
no comma after bring.
"No longer will I look, without regret," is a bit clunky.
[n/a] auscot › Dovina 22-Dec-04/4:50 PM Reply
Thanks Dovina, a great score. Punctuation has always been my weakness, I tend to grap a pinch, scatter it and hope it lands in the right place. Re 'No longer..., it seemed ok at the time. Thanks for the crit.
[10] Yikes 21-Dec-04/6:20 PM Reply
mmm, I enjoyed this! A literary masterpiece; 10, without hesitation.
[n/a] auscot › Yikes 22-Dec-04/4:57 PM Reply
Made my day, but a literary masterpiece?
[8] blacksoul 22-Dec-04/7:02 AM Reply
Not bad bro.-8-
[n/a] auscot › blacksoul 22-Dec-04/4:54 PM Reply
Thanks brother, I lived in Africa for a few years amongst beautiful people.
[n/a] zodiac › auscot 22-Dec-04/10:21 PM Reply
LOLTTM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, my!
[10] dancin_n_da_moonlite 29-Dec-04/9:59 PM Reply
great work - love the imagrey - perfect 10.0