poemranker ::American Semele (Edit) by Sasha

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Sonnet № 118410

American Semele (Edit)

Member since 2004 · Posted 15 Jan 2005 · Edited 21 Aug 2005 · 6 comments

A cozy house's doorway bore a girl Swaddled in white and cradled by warm air Down earthward steps with the attendant twirl Of the wind's fingers in her perfect hair. Seeking enlightenment she went away And found dark learning in a stranger's bed But wept at the forbidding ring that lay On his right hand that lay on her pale head. He cast her into cold and urban night To wander down the streets of men who'd pay, With dyed hair that pure wind no longer twirled. The alleys' ghost, despairing for the light That heaven hid from her with smoggy gray, She knew herself betrayed into the world.

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mean 6.33 weighted 5.16 rank 5126 views 256 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

A favorite of Bethy.

6 comments

[9] Dovina 15-Jan-05/4:03 PM Reply
The first verse is very tender and warm. The first two lines of the second verse give it all away.
[10] zodiac 17-Jan-05/5:52 AM Reply
This would have been better if it was "American Smell".

What is the American Smell? Bacon and shag carpet.
[9] wilco 19-Jan-05/5:49 PM Reply
Not too bad. I thought it said American Shemale thouth....that could be an interesting poem....
[9] INTRANSIT 21-Aug-05/10:48 AM Reply
Something's wrong in the last stanza. i'm no grammmarian but it just doesn't make sense to me. Sorry I can't help more than that.
[n/a] ALChemy 21-Aug-05/11:37 AM Reply
Doesn't sound american. More like Emily Bronte's great, great, great grand daughters response to something she saw on Oprah.

But very well written in the aesthetic sense. In many ways I envy you.
[10] Bethy 26-Aug-05/7:16 PM Reply
This is a favorite...*10* :) Bethy