Free verse № 119662

DUI Violation

Member since 2002 · Posted 4 Feb 2005 · 3 comments

Drunk at the wheel of my lifeâs car, Crashing and burning Hurting and getting hurt Laughing sadistically Blasting the music on my lifeâs radio Screaming my song Humming along that haunting tune Of passion and madness Speeding on the highway of my life Driving along fast Coming to a screeching halt I see you in the eye, I feel you in the gut..

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mean 5.75 weighted 5.09 rank 6289 views 161 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

3 comments

[7] Dovina 4-Feb-05/4:47 PM Reply

Good. Try omitting "Driving along fast" and "my" in the line above.

[9] zodiac 6-Feb-05/1:19 AM Reply

I like the last line. I would probably rewrite everything else. Try including some poetry along the way, and maybe making a couple of real sentences.

[7] cowmoo 6-Feb-05/12:42 PM Reply

I like it but the ending is elusive and not satisfying, please elaborate.