Free verse № 119996

CUPID

Member since 2005 · Posted 11 Feb 2005 · 3 comments

I'm so happy I don't know what to do, perhaps smile at the world, and kick off my shoes dance a jig, and swing hips low. Pop it back up and give'm some mo' Today I'm singing to a different tune. One that has a melody that keeps me consumed. So I'm spreading this happiness to everyone I meet,being on cloud nine is where I can be reached. I wanna share this joy, this feelin' within,cause cupid done struck me in my heart again.

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mean 4.80 weighted 4.98 rank 8338 views 157 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

3 comments

[7] Dovina 11-Feb-05/3:12 PM Reply

Aint nothin' so good as luve!
A few too many words, I think. Here's what I'd do:
Line 5 - scratch "One that has"
Line 6 - scratch "being on"
Line 8 - scatch "within" and change "cause" to "'cause"

[n/a] al-naafiysh › Dovina 12-Feb-05/12:02 AM Reply

Thank you Dovina for showing me my faults.
Again thanks.

[10] MacFrantic 12-Feb-05/7:42 PM Reply

Man, that was such an entertaining poem! Little changes here and there-I won't be specific- and it's perfect! *10*

Can you put a single stanza in your "favorites" section?