poemranker ::"Lovers or Friends" by jroday

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Ode № 122542

"Lovers or Friends"

Member since 2004 · Posted 28 Mar 2005 · 4 comments

Let's not fuck tonight Let's try and make things right. We argue, we fuck, we don't resolve yet we think that by busting a nut, then the problems are solved. We have a lot of soul searching we must do instead of just fucking and then we're through. What happened to us, the days of old, when we knew not just our hearts, but each others soul. Where are those times when we would sit and talk and spend quality time with nice long walks,or the times when a gentle glance would put us both in a trance? And gazing at each other would serve both our needs, and we did'nt allow fucking to intercede. So baby let's go back, let's talk again let's be more than lovers let's be friends.

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mean 4.75 weighted 4.97 rank 8410 views 219 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

4 comments

[5] thepinkbunnyofdoom 28-Mar-05/9:25 AM Reply
Few typos here and there, and a nice piece but it lacks some of the finer points of craftmanship.

Things this Needs
A) A good title, that doesn't give away your ending, much less the entire poem.
B) A better thought out meter.
C) Spellcheck.
D) A rewrite.

Til then -5-
[8] blacksoul 28-Mar-05/3:55 PM Reply
You did a rush job on writting this one pops, slow donw
[n/a] al-naafiysh › blacksoul 29-Mar-05/2:44 AM Reply
You know damn well daddy did'nt write this shit.
He need to put his foot up your ass so far until
you feel the moisture off his kneecap.
[6] poodietat 29-Mar-05/8:57 PM Reply
IMHO, the "friends and lovers" theme has been done to death. This undermines an otherwise decent poem.