Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Astronomer's Lament (Free verse) by Christof
My heart is light years away from me: Five years and counting, By my calculations, Since the giant rift rent up the moon from the world. My scopes still observe Our last conversation, Gravity's slippage And orbit's decay. Space is a dead dark screen where the dead Reappear in the mind's desperation. The image will dwindle But when? One might as well rack up The distance to heaven Or measure the space in my chest.

Up the ladder: Joe likes "DYNAMITE"!
Down the ladder: I Wish

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
.. 10
.. 20
.. 41
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 21

Arithmetic Mean: 6.1538463
Weighted score: 5.843529
Overall Rank: 1596
Posted: September 2, 2002 3:32 AM PDT; Last modified: September 2, 2002 3:32 AM PDT
View voting details
The following users have marked this poem on their favorites list:

god'swife

Comments:
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.211.134 | 2-Sep-02/8:34 AM | Reply
I love this, there are no question marks popping up in my head. Using 'dead' twice in line 9 has me squirming a little. Just a pet peeve of mine. Your poems always end strong. I believe the end is more important then the beginning. I especially love the image of the 2 lovers' orbits out of sink. The balance of that delicate dance coming apart. When worlds collide.
[n/a] Christof @ | 2-Sep-02/8:37 AM | Reply
I'd usually agree with you about repeating one word ina line, but on this occasion I thought - 'damn it, the time has come'. I like the rhythm it gives really. Glad you like it Mrs G.
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.211.134 | 2-Sep-02/8:45 AM | Reply
The more I read this the more it speaks. 5 yrs. is a long time, and they never collided did they? They fell apart.
[n/a] Christof @ | 2-Sep-02/8:53 AM | Reply
I think they may have held in orbit for a while, but they never collided, no. No wonder he's so sad 'cos i think she was a beauty.
[10] god'swife @ 209.179.211.134 | 2-Sep-02/9:26 AM | Reply
A beauty indeed. Sweet Selene, even the tides arrange themselves to her mood.
[7] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 2-Sep-02/5:12 PM | Reply
congratulations something of yours that didn't make me want to clocktower the rifle scope.
[n/a] Christof @ | 3-Sep-02/1:29 AM | Reply
I think I'll take that as a compliment.
[7] deleted user @ 213.122.188.3 | 3-Sep-02/3:29 AM | Reply
I enjoyed this, it was interesting-7/10
[9] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.117 | 23-Sep-02/7:28 AM | Reply
that's beautiful. The last 3 lines make it perfect. what can i say, i'm a sucker for space.
[n/a] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 > razorgrin | 23-Sep-02/7:30 AM | Reply
Why thank you!I'm pleased you liked it.
[8] daniella @ 200.45.51.140 | 19-Oct-02/10:33 PM | Reply
i know this star-less space all to well. dead is dead.
[8] Tintagiles @ 198.164.238.100 | 23-Oct-02/6:25 AM | Reply
You get many points for using light-years correctly. And more because it's good.
[10] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 16-Jun-03/2:57 PM | Reply
Jesus, that hurt.
275 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2022 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001