A World At War

Member since 2005 · Posted 8 Jul 2005 · 5 comments

As I silently sit I think whose war is this As a violent bomb hits I see within the mistâ¦ A broken down child praying for death 1 leg on his chest as the medics do the rest Dead bodies around him take to the sky While innocent people are scarred for life Immense negative vibes and frantic attitudes 700 disturbed, millions confused Terrorists amused, planning the next act The public abused for our leaders attacks While they rest safely wallowing in safety Completely untouched with pay slips daily The truth we lack is backfiring upon us We blindly believe, in government we trust If there is absence of hope then freedom is lost So I hope we forget these paths weâve crossed A world gone mad, a world at war How long will this continue for

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5 comments

[3] Dovina 8-Jul-05/10:30 AM Reply

Too many words, and not carefully chosen. "safely wallowing in safety" for example.

[n/a] Damien › Dovina 11-Jul-05/2:49 AM Reply

I used '*something* safely wallowing in safety' as to ephasize the safety of this *something*. I am not sure whether it made sense I just picked up the word wallowing and thought I would try and use it.
Thanks for the feedback

[0] Bluemonkey 11-Jul-05/11:32 AM Reply

If you're going to write about something like this...and be as graphic as you have, for God sakes, man, don't rhyme.

[n/a] Damien › Bluemonkey 12-Jul-05/1:37 AM Reply

I am completely confused.....Can I not express my feelings in any way I choose. If you get offended then so be it but I wrote this with the best intentions.
Thanks for the feedback

[1] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk › Bluemonkey 12-Jul-05/12:03 PM Reply

you have to read it like a bad Eminem rap to feel it.