poemranker ::Endurance by Dovina

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Free verse № 128408

Endurance

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 9 Jul 2005 · 9 comments

She made him a necklace of paper birds, each with a song and a smile, placed it on him with a kiss, like bread upon the water. Two regrets she now endures: the necklace scratched his throat, and she had chosen one wrong sentence— a kind of pain she’d never not known.

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mean 4.67 weighted 4.96 rank 8602 views 300 View voting details →

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9 comments

[n/a] Dental Panic 9-Jul-05/4:40 PM Reply
I'm in the dark. It seems a very private thing to me, with strange imagery.
[n/a] Dovina › Dental Panic 9-Jul-05/4:45 PM Reply
Not so private raelly. Paper birds are made by folding paper. They don't really sing or smile but they could have words written on them in a singing or smiling voice, perhaps a wrong sentence, an intended song that instead scratched his neck, who knows?
[n/a] Dental Panic › Dovina 9-Jul-05/5:22 PM Reply
I see.
[n/a] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk › Dovina 9-Jul-05/11:26 PM Reply
who know? you should.
[n/a] Dovina › Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 11-Jul-05/1:28 PM Reply
Yes, I had something in mind, but to spill it out defeats the purpose of implying it in a subtle way, hoping the reader will see what I mean. Still, I don't mind if you see something entirely different. Look at BlueMonkey's recent poem for an example of this.
[6] zodiac 10-Jul-05/10:27 PM Reply
Not good.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 11-Jul-05/11:17 AM Reply
In what way is it not good? Please do not spare my tender feelings in your answer. I listen to all comments, and believe it or not, incorporate many of them. Here I have not done the things you usually find offensive - preaching, explaining, using funny grammar. So, what?
[8] Bluemonkey 11-Jul-05/11:40 AM Reply
I kind of like this...despite what the general consensus seems to be..gotta go with my gut..
[n/a] Dovina › Bluemonkey 12-Jul-05/10:13 AM Reply
I'll admit it's more vague and subject to interpretation than most of mine. Your gut is as good as mine.