poemranker ::Observation of a stupéfait by Dental Panic

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Free verse № 129043

Observation of a stupéfait

by Dental Panic

Member since 2005 · Posted 31 Jul 2005 · 5 comments

This afternoon lightning hit my freshly filled backtooth and suddenly I understood the leaves linguistics. The woods spoke Babylonic. Admit it: you've always been aware. It was in the air. The slander in the sediment. the stylish rustling rumour, the finely veined presumption. With a superhuman crack I closed my mouth and let my tongue bleed empty. Ow, what wit.

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mean 8.67 weighted 5.44 rank 2987 views 238 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

5 comments

[6] Dovina 1-Aug-05/8:39 AM Reply
Some inconsistencies in punctuation:
leaves'
spoke.
rustling.
But what are you saying?

[n/a] Dental Panic › Dovina 1-Aug-05/4:54 PM Reply
I give you the apostrophe. Not the periods. The sentences have been cut by the stanzas. Why? Because of my breathing, I think.
As for the meaning of the poem, well, I'm afraid that if I try to explain it I'll ruin my chances of getting across what doesn't seem to make sense. If you know what I mean.
[6] Dovina › Dental Panic 2-Aug-05/8:02 AM Reply
The periods seem needed because you use some periods.
[10] zodiac 1-Aug-05/10:37 PM Reply
Cool. leaves', not leaves.
[n/a] ALChemy 2-Aug-05/12:43 AM Reply
Another possible title: Mouths wide shut.

I loved the first two and last two lines.
The others kinda reminded me of the theme song from Pocahontas.