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After He Left

Member since 2004 · Posted 2 Aug 2005 · 5 comments

Whether he really went somewhere or where, I couldn't tell. Only his possesseions remain. Perhaps that's why I hord the world in words with hope that when I die the sum suggests a larger life than lived - a healthy afterlife existing after imagination.

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6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

5 comments

[9] MacFrantic 2-Aug-05/10:44 AM Reply

One of the best ending stanzas I have ever read, but the first one could use a bit of work. It makes sense, but the change in tenses and the last line-in the first stanza-is a bit grey. *9*

[n/a] Dovina › MacFrantic 3-Aug-05/7:42 AM Reply

I'll change remain to remained. Thanks.

[8] darby pyn 2-Aug-05/4:44 PM Reply

Nice work.

an honest description. 8

[8] LilMsLadyPoet 3-Aug-05/1:20 AM Reply

possesseions> spelling error. Other than that...cool!

My fav:"Perhaps that's why I hord the world in words
with hope that when I die
the sum suggests" <I adore this...belongs in the "Writer's Anthem". No, there is no such thing, just in my mind, when I run across words that say our passion, dive, and purpose so eloquently)

[n/a] Dovina › LilMsLadyPoet 3-Aug-05/7:44 AM Reply

Thanks for the spelling catch. As writers, I think many of us have this fantasy. Thanks.