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Member since 2005 · Posted 9 Aug 2005 · 7 comments

Smoke blew from her painted lips A mini skirt stretched around her hips Her breasts were tucked in a lacey blue bra She hated her mother and loved her paw She walk up and down the dimly lit street Red leather pumps blistered her feet Black dye covered her beautiful hair she, do anything but go back there...

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mean 7.33 weighted 5.63 rank 2187 views 272 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

7 comments

[9] RGSsparky 9-Aug-05/5:37 PM Reply

very descriptive. prostitute, i assume.

[n/a] Bethy › RGSsparky 10-Aug-05/3:57 AM Reply

yes , a very young lady who does not want to go back home...
Thank you Sparky :) Bethy

[7] Dovina 9-Aug-05/6:54 PM Reply

I like the rhythm.

She walked up and down

paw > pa?

The last 2 lines confuse. Maybe you mean "she'd do anything but go back there"

[n/a] Bethy › Dovina 10-Aug-05/4:01 AM Reply

Thank you Dovina, paw is something that us hillbillies use, lol...and this is a young woman who does not want to go back there...Home... :) Bethy

[7] Sasha 15-Aug-05/12:53 PM Reply

Better.

[9] Bobjim 18-Aug-05/7:12 AM Reply

Last few lines don't seem to fit as well as the rest, particularly the penultimate. Seems to me like "She'd do anything" would work better, but it's your poem.
And I still give you a -9-

[n/a] Bethy › Bobjim 18-Aug-05/3:43 PM Reply

Yes..I agree...I tried it and it does work..thankyou...variation and changes make things better...:) :) Bethy