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Katrina

Member since 2002 · Posted 30 Aug 2005 · 6 comments

The hurricane is a galaxy on TV The bayou folk ride alligators with charms and hexes Dead bodies float or sink the Civil War veterans The quarter is French submerged a truly sea level A levee breaks just like the song calamity, a wet

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mean 6.11 weighted 5.56 rank 2460 views 257 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

6 comments

[8] INTRANSIT 31-Aug-05/6:17 AM Reply

I like the first and second stanzas. 3 needs its lines shuffled and delete the -the- in the fourth, this will connect the two. take a rasp to the english and the end seems to be dangling, unfinished, as if suddenly washed away. ees goot.

[8] Bethy 31-Aug-05/10:40 AM Reply

good poem, kinda hangs at the end, but good *8* :) Bethy

[7] wilco 1-Sep-05/5:56 PM Reply

I'd lose the fifth stanza. We don't need a Zeppelin reference. Lose the The in the fourth stanza and your pretty good.

[6] T. Jonathron Remp 2-Sep-05/10:29 AM Reply

Could be really good, but the line "The quarter is French" is quite odd. Almost as odd as the French. Perhaps that's what you meant by it...

[6] Dovina 2-Sep-05/11:14 AM Reply

Yeah, It does look like a galaxy from space. A comma after sink would clarify. A wet what?

[5] PodPoet 6-Sep-05/10:49 PM Reply

Please consider submitting this wonderful poem to http://hellicane.blogspot.com -- poems by, for and about the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Thanks.