poemranker ::Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina

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Free verse № 133007

Sonata for Robin and Poet

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 7 Nov 2005 · 39 comments

Beneath some clouds on a blue-sky day A poet stood prepared And on a limb of an apple tree A robin pensively turned The poet stood erect and booked A candle in his hand The robin perched alert and plum A worm held in his beak ‘Tis thus,’ pronounced the poet ‘I have seen and it is true’ The robin turned a fury head And salivated if birds do The poet read and read From chapbook, scrapbook, cookbook too The robin listened, eating worm Then retorted a little chirp With reading finished Worm devoured Poet said to robin Man shall not live by worm alone The robin fluffed and sang a tune Lifted lightly overhead And placed upon the poet’s chapbook And answer in red and brown.

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mean 7.71 weighted 5.73 rank 1854 views 299 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

39 comments

[10] ALChemy 7-Nov-05/1:30 PM Reply
An amusing little story. RED and brown? Does the bird have colon cancer?
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 7-Nov-05/1:50 PM Reply
The most logical interpretation is not always right, that's what I always say, and go on looking, to the frustration of nits and nit-pickers. Maybe the robin also ate some berries.
[10] ALChemy › Dovina 7-Nov-05/2:04 PM Reply
"The most logical interpretation is not always right". No it's just logical.
Forgive me if you feel I pooped on your poem but that's what us robins do.
I actually think it's some of the best stuff you've written this week.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 7-Nov-05/2:08 PM Reply
"That's what us robins do." lol. It's the only poem I posted this week, which makes it the best. lol. And I don't find much poop in what you're saying.
[10] ALChemy › Dovina 7-Nov-05/2:51 PM Reply
That's 'cause I eat mostly corn. But really I think it's quite beautiful and funny. If you promise not to tell...-10-
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 7-Nov-05/2:53 PM Reply
Thank you.
[9] INTRANSIT 7-Nov-05/3:21 PM Reply
Where's my kick on credit?
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 7-Nov-05/3:27 PM Reply
Okay, if you'll fight the system and give a comment, here's your shin-kick: Truckers should get double-taxed because without them bridges could be half as strong.
[9] INTRANSIT › Dovina 8-Nov-05/7:45 AM Reply
We are. We pay tax at the pump and then a road -use tax based on the amount of miles driven in each state. The highways were originally designed to allow our military quick movement around the country. Secondly as intrastate and interstate commerce, trucking. Thirdly, recreation. You have been double trumped. please try again.
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 8-Nov-05/10:20 AM Reply
Okay, it was a weak girlish kick. I will try again only after you kick back with a genuine comment on the poem.
[10] Caducus 8-Nov-05/5:06 AM Reply
Credit where its due this is the best I've seen from you and deserves comments.

I see a lot of control in this and the language form is a detraction from your usual style.

In a word - graceful.
[n/a] Dovina › Caducus 8-Nov-05/10:21 AM Reply
Thanks, C.
[6] zodiac 8-Nov-05/6:11 AM Reply
Not your best. I suggest you seem to know a lot about how poets think and act while simultaneously holding the belief that poetry is not something requiring training, effort, or skill while simultaneously writing crap poetry about it.
[n/a] Mona Lisa › zodiac 8-Nov-05/8:25 AM Reply
Ahh come on this is no way crap none of us admit to being elitist we just do our best.

We're all training here and who knows maybe an apprentice can become a master.
[n/a] Dovina › Mona Lisa 8-Nov-05/10:22 AM Reply
Thanks Mona. That goes for all who do not admit to being masters.
[6] zodiac › Mona Lisa 9-Nov-05/6:51 AM Reply
Yeah, I know. I just said it wasn't her best, which is true. In my opinion, her best is either "Math Poem 3" or "Returning".

Oh, I also said Dovina's poetry about snooty poets not being in touch with the world is crap. You're perfectly free to say I just think so because I'm a snooty poet.

Now I'll say I admit to being elitist. Elites tend, on average, to be better than Sorries at many things I deem important. That's why they're elites.
[n/a] Dovina › zodiac 8-Nov-05/10:22 AM Reply
Thanks Z. The writing of crap poetry has been my goal for a long time now. It’s good to find some budding appreciation.
[10] ALChemy › Dovina 8-Nov-05/12:21 PM Reply
That would be DA's genre.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 8-Nov-05/12:23 PM Reply
Read "Lady Bradbury's Excursion" then reconsider.
[10] ALChemy › Dovina 8-Nov-05/1:30 PM Reply
I didn't omit you from the genre. But admit it. No body does crap like DA.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 8-Nov-05/2:35 PM Reply
Probably not, I haven't smelled it.
[6] zodiac › Dovina 9-Nov-05/6:56 AM Reply
It's good you find budding appreciation. I've been trying to project a certain wry ambivalence tinged with disgust.
[9] Bhaskaryya 9-Nov-05/6:49 AM Reply
Why hold a candle in a bright blue day? Anyway, this was light-hearted and funny. A great read!

I loved the 3rd and 4th stanzas especially!
[n/a] Dovina › Bhaskaryya 10-Nov-05/6:32 AM Reply
No good reason for the candle. It's just in keeping with the image of a poet who holds a candle and mirror to society. I read it somewhere.
[9] INTRANSIT 9-Nov-05/2:41 PM Reply
I like it , except that, alert and plum seems redundant within the line.
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 10-Nov-05/6:34 AM Reply
Alert and standing vertical with respect to his center of gravity. Actually there's no other way to stand without falling.
[9] INTRANSIT › Dovina 12-Nov-05/4:19 PM Reply
Plumb would suggest same as would just alert. do what you will.
[6] zodiac › INTRANSIT 13-Nov-05/12:52 AM Reply
Please see the comments here:
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=131063

and here:
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=111651
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 13-Nov-05/6:45 AM Reply
I will agree to the rightness of one whom I generally accuse of placing rhythm above rightness.
[10] cyan9 19-Nov-05/4:14 PM Reply
Excellent as this is, I still cant believe you tried to criticise me for writing something from LaLa land. The Salivating line and the concept of the piece are excellent, making for pleasurable, surreal, (though not bizarre) reading.
[n/a] Dovina › cyan9 19-Nov-05/4:41 PM Reply
You've sent me scurrying around to see where I said you wrote something from LaLa Land. I did make a comment like that awhile back, but I don't see it on any of your poems. Did you delete a poem? Remind me and I'll look at it again.

As a general comment, your poems and comments have been good.

Thanks for commenting.
[10] cyan9 › Dovina 20-Nov-05/5:13 AM Reply
I think I must of deleted the piece that you declared as being hard to rank, since it was from LaLa Land. I think you rated it 5 and argued with zodiac till he rated it 10 to negate your 5.
[10] ALChemy › cyan9 20-Nov-05/5:47 AM Reply
Nah, it was me.
[n/a] Dovina › cyan9 21-Nov-05/6:26 AM Reply
If I deleted every poem that someone said sucks, you can name one that I'd delete, and I can name a lot more. I think it's better to leave a nasty dog alone. Who knows, in a few months, someone might change his mind and take the mut home. It's happened.
[10] cyan9 › Dovina 21-Nov-05/7:46 AM Reply
Alternatively, let the nasty mut go free into the wilderness where it belongs, replacing it with a spanking new poodle that follows you round and people tell you how cute it is....

Allright, maybe I should leave them (it allows people to pick up on your faults and give better feedback, rather than saying "nice write"); but once they are off the recent list then nobody really looks at them anyway, so the temptation rather than to see them go bad and lonely is to cover them up with a new poem, so that at least nobody sees them after they've gone bad.
[n/a] Dovina › cyan9 22-Nov-05/7:04 AM Reply
Sorry to disappoint, but wrong answer. Caviots about my opinion verses yours unnecessary, I hope. I often receive comments and votes on old poems. Besides it allows readers to see all my posted work, better and worse, and to better evaluate it as a whole. That is, unless you're just too sensitive to hear any more comments on a poem you've already judged as bad.
[10] cyan9 › Dovina 23-Nov-05/1:38 AM Reply
There is one problem with your argument here, being that once a poem is off the recent list, it tends not to be red, and just seems to sit there as a bad egg taking up space. It is not an issue of sensitivity, and if it were, there would be nothing to be sensitive about apart from the lack of comments. I only receive votes on new poems, perhaps because I have massively less work on this site, mine do not appear on random so often. Never the less. The reason I deleted the piece in question was that it had a lot of hits with the only comments being about whether you should vote or not, one vote from you, and another from someone to negate your 5, leaving the piece unconsidered and thus it was better to replace it with something that might be considered, allowing me to figure out what is and isn't accessible for people.
[10] cyan9 › Dovina 23-Nov-05/1:42 AM Reply
What does Caviot mean by the way? I cant find it in any dictionary's.
[n/a] Dovina › cyan9 23-Nov-05/7:27 AM Reply
Your powms do not show up on the random list because they have been voted on recently. Only poems without votes show up there. Sorry about Caviot, it should be Caveat.

You'll get a lot more guff comments here on Poemranker than comments on your poem. If you like the interchange, that's good, if not you'll be disappointed. I try to sort gems from a trash heap, and figure the take is worth the effort.