poemranker ::Bread and blackthorns by Caducus

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Free verse № 133391

Bread and blackthorns

by Caducus

Member since 2002 · Posted 14 Nov 2005 · 10 comments

Her feast on the shivering table sickened me, like swine on Moslem tongue. The dew of grief from sill of souls sickened me, like broken bread on Roman tongue. Imprisoned from my ribs my heart found love, It sickened me like Eve on Adams tongue. Slice the loaf for wine. Strip the stems of roses, crown me with its blackthorns and watch my scalp weep for my eyes shall not. I am not your sacrifice Just the worst kind of Martyr….. Unremembered. Alive. Yet dead to only you.

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10 comments

[7] zodiac 14-Nov-05/9:55 AM Reply
"Imprisoned from my ribs"?

I'm sure you have an explanation why you used "from" rather than "in" or "by". I'll save you the trouble. It doesn't work.
[n/a] Caducus › zodiac 15-Nov-05/1:25 AM Reply
I know I'm flawed I just do the best from what I got.
[7] zodiac › Caducus 15-Nov-05/2:12 AM Reply
Har, har.
[8] Dovina 14-Nov-05/12:31 PM Reply
A Right Brain cannot get this I know, but reading your poems quickens the synapses, releasing the fluids, like squeezing blood out of silicone. Never change your style, only grammar sometimes and maybe the occasional hint of logic.
[7] zodiac › Dovina 15-Nov-05/12:40 AM Reply
Yes, you would believe there are right-brains and left-brains and you're on the side of Good.
[8] Dovina › zodiac 18-Nov-05/6:38 AM Reply
Of course.
[7] zodiac › Dovina 18-Nov-05/8:59 AM Reply
Do you remember a recent exchange about "labelling" or are you somehow unhinged?
[8] Dovina › zodiac 19-Nov-05/7:25 AM Reply
To say Caducus is Right-brained is to say that he leans toward the artistic side of his brain, favoring it over the logical side. It's not the same as catagorizing to the extent of prejudice. We use labels all the time, it's part of language.
[7] zodiac › Dovina 19-Nov-05/11:46 AM Reply
I was referring to your comment "A Right Brain cannot get this I know", which is surely directed at me. You'll deny. I won't care.
[7] zodiac › Dovina 19-Nov-05/11:47 AM Reply
- Oh, almost forgot your gift:

HISTORY
Jennifer Michael Hecht

Even Eve, the only soul in all of time
to never have to wait for love,
must have leaned some sleepless nights
alone against the garden wall
and wailed, cold, stupified, and wild
and wished to trade-in all of Eden
to have but been a child.

In fact I gather that is why she leapt and fell from grace,
that she might have a story of herself to tell
in some other place.