DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

i dream in nine minute increments

Member since 2005 · Posted 22 Nov 2005 · 10 comments

night time a fellow on a bicycle an old one speed with the swept handlebars rides across tracks as these beat up mustangs full of no good troublemakers speeding mow him down, tires to rail the cars stop an undercover materializes fires rapidly all kinds of guns waving in the air so close to my face one man out of bullets burns my arm with the barrel the gang war is now a friendly joke a staged happening congratulations, we did good but i am not amused i push him to the gravel i punch the shit out of him explaining how my arm hurts i look right into his blue eyes it is light again

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10 comments

[6] cyan9 22-Nov-05/8:37 AM Reply

Imaginative title, piece kind of reminds me of Sin City

[6] Dovina 22-Nov-05/1:49 PM Reply

A 36-minute dream. Were you watching the clock?

[n/a] ALChemy › Dovina 22-Nov-05/2:02 PM Reply

No, he kept count by the song the little girls sang in the background.
"One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock the door..."

[n/a] ay deee › ALChemy 22-Nov-05/2:55 PM Reply

first of all, no, my snooze button adds nine minutes to the alarm, so every time i push the snooze, i go back to sleep for nine minutes. as a result, my dream is fragmented...
and second, what is that song supposed to mean?

[n/a] ALChemy › ay deee 23-Nov-05/5:14 AM Reply

Nightmare On Elm Street.

Cheap joke. I wasn't trying to say anything bad about your poem. The dream logic in it is pretty good. Is there a specific reason for not capitalizing?

[n/a] ay deee › ALChemy 23-Nov-05/5:24 AM Reply

oh, ok.
i don't like the way capitalizing looks most of the time.
maybe it's word equality. monospace fonts are my favorite; monoheight letters look like they fit here...

[8] zodiac 25-Nov-05/1:40 AM Reply

"all kinds of guns waving in the air" and "explaining how my arm hurts" are really weak lines. The rest is pretty good.

[n/a] Bill Z Bub 26-Nov-05/2:43 PM Reply

The third line had me confused, until I finally realized on the fourth read that you meant "an old one-speed".
Violent dreams. Guns never appear in my dreams. Instead, people point their fingers and say BANG. Then the bad thing falls over.

[9] sliver 7-Dec-05/7:56 PM Reply

It's funny, lately my dreams have been lasting a lifetime. Long story. Now is not the time.
I especially liked the first stanza.

[7] amanda_dcosta 14-Dec-05/11:05 AM Reply

Uh huh..... Wish I never had that kind of a dream. And I have never had that kind either..... none that i can think of, with guns and bullets burning in my arm. Gives me the creeps. Where I come from, we don't see guns around here and people don't sleep with guns for defence either.

Nicely written, though.