DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

The Dreamhole

Member since 2005 · Posted 25 Nov 2005 · 4 comments

Did you ever swallow, Looking too perfect When twins swiped in And held my soul. Did you ever reap it Running the circuit When twins swiped in, No I don't think so. Did you ever well I never Get yourself together. Did you ever well I never Think it would last forever. Did you ever hurt it Make yourself too perfect When angels dropped in And cleared my soul. Did you ever love it Alone in this bull ring When angels dropped in, Waiting for their hellos. <old one from 2001>

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mean 5.25 weighted 5.03 rank 7282 views 219 View voting details →

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4 comments

[8] zodiac 25-Nov-05/1:22 AM Reply

This would be good by Keane doing British pop doing Radiohead.

[n/a] ALChemy 25-Nov-05/4:19 AM Reply

It does sound like a lyric, doesn't it. Pretty catchy one too.

[n/a] cyan9 › ALChemy 25-Nov-05/7:08 AM Reply

Its from I time when I had just discovered the use of embedded rhyming schemes in order to propell listeners through the poem. It is something made more for other people to hear, rather than for me to read. My criticism of it is that it uses too many rhyming words, and could do better with a bit of assonance, it is also quite difficult to understand what it is about.

[n/a] ALChemy › cyan9 25-Nov-05/10:07 AM Reply

Yeah, I tend to be my harshest critic too. Sometimes people like a good jingle.
The third stanza really sounds familiar,(Some song, maybe a PJ Harvey one or something) I wish I could remember it.