Heaven Help Me

Now sensitive to the pain from the day after next, burning with anxiety, longing and things breaking their way inside me: I lay naked and lay shaking between the benches in the chapel that I feel important to describe to you. Fallen beams and stars made from dust were cutting the path of iridescent light shining in from the stained glass. Statues of kings of old lay chipped and archaic Aramaic words whispered and echoed out from the empty pulpit. A kaleidoscope of faded colors darted across the cracked tablets upon the floor; but now the faded colors dart no more. Darkness swallowed me and for eternity took me from my within. After what seemed like days within a split second: the skies began to open within me, and there through the bliss, the mist, I watched as jagged metal lines hurtled toward me, showering me like sparks from an electrical saw. I tasted the sweat on their blades; I tasted the steel as it sliced its way inside me. I begged for heavens help, I begged for forgiveness, I begged for you to console me. A voice from the dark recesses of my head lent forward and whispered with a crisp tongue "You never wanted what you ask for, you never wanted your hearts desire." I begged and pleaded and writhed upon the floor, smearing myself over the walls, clutching out at straws; “I would do for you anything for this one desire my God, anything.” The darkness then ensued. As I came to from my whimperings, as the beating, pulsating pain left my head, I began to take my first steps. All I knew was that someone felt cyan, someone felt gold whilst the bliss surged its way through the shell of a body that was once inhabited by me.