poemranker ::The Deep End by drnick

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Free verse № 137067

The Deep End

by drnick

Member since 2005 · Posted 17 Jan 2006 · 5 comments

Reluctantly, I followed you in I watched as the water rose above Losing sight of things most common Hesitant, as my head lay upon the surface You pull me under and I struggle Desperately grabbing at the air, water Anything that can take me back The soft light glimmers as a star Until it succumbs to a similar fate Like everything else I once knew I'm lost down here, but familiar Is your guiding hand Calming me, easing my resistance Telling me it is alright And as I loose strength and consciousness All I know Is that this is surely the end Of who I was.

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mean 5.33 weighted 5.04 rank 7068 views 197 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

5 comments

[9] Dovina 18-Jan-06/11:11 AM Reply
I love following someone whom I trust into danger. For better or worse, til death . . .etc. You've caught this well. Leave out "in" in Line 1.
[7] zodiac 19-Jan-06/2:15 PM Reply
It's generally not a good idea to give your poem the same name as a movie, good or bad, similar or not. Also, loose should be lose.
[n/a] drnick › zodiac 19-Jan-06/3:04 PM Reply
It's nearly impossible to come up with an original title with the amount of pieces out now...it's only a title anyways. Right you are, I'm terrible with grammar.
[n/a] ALChemy › drnick 19-Jan-06/3:29 PM Reply
Your current title has a 26.3% chance of being a best seller.