poemranker ::Blackbirds III by jmalone

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Other № 138445

Blackbirds III

Member since 2006 · Posted 6 Feb 2006 · 2 comments

If truth does not rise, the innocent fall, so a blackbird's demise is shame for us all. Lives laid to waste, atop mortar bricks, with dreams sought in haste, between broken sticks. If love cannot give, the children die, so all blackbirds live, a fleeting lie. Hope turned to fears, before the rain, while suffering for years, in utter pain. If clouds do not come, rain shall not fall, so blackbirds aren't from, the rooftops at all. With blues in the city, from homes of neglect, the youth are a pity, in all respects. If rays do not shine, light shall not settle, so blackbirds align, the darkened ghetto. With death in the village, from huts of unrest, the children pillage, an empty nest. © By jmalone

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mean 5.67 weighted 5.08 rank 6472 views 138 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[8] celticskatermatt1 6-Feb-06/8:02 PM Reply
pretty swell
[8] Ranger 7-Feb-06/2:57 AM Reply
Lines 13, 14, 15, 16 aren't as good as the rest of it - they're very ordinary whereas the rest is nicely eloquent. I loved the first 4 lines. Excellent rhythm and the rhyme holds up pretty well.