poemranker ::A Fart For All Mankind by Edna Sweetlove

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Free verse № 143620

A Fart For All Mankind

by Edna Sweetlove

Member since 2006 · Posted 23 May 2006 · 13 comments

I heard the world's loudest fart today It echoed round the town enough to say "I am a fart of great renown and fame, I am a fart who's worthy of the name Of KING of FARTS!" Unthinkingly I sniffed And, let me tell you, I have never whiffed Aught so potent, dank and dread and foul Blasted out from heaving human bowel As that king of farts I smelled today And which took my fucking breath away. Who was the pumper of that putrid beauty? How many curries in the line of duty Had he consumed? It must have been a man - No pong so strong ere blew from female can. Can no one answer yet my urgent question: And say who suffereth such dire indigestion? O heavens! his torment must be something chronic. Can no one subsidise a high colonic Irrigation to prevent another Noisier and more noisome than its younger brother?

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mean 6.31 weighted 6.31 rank 865 views 561 View voting details →

64 votes so far. Yours would make 65.64 votes so far

A favorite of Blind Fart, Dr Toilet.

13 comments

[7] lmp 26-May-06/3:33 PM Reply
trite, but one of you better works. you may find an audience with 8 year old boys or perhaps employment as a writer for the next Austin Powers movie.
[n/a] horus8 9-Jun-06/7:55 PM Reply
Exactly, once again you Brits prove you're entire universe is a black and white snap shot of a fatman sipping tea, and smelling ass. Thank god I'm a yankee, I can at least move past fart noises and onto other things like Jews, media, toast, and imploding politicians. fucking limey pirate cunt, I wouldn't even throw a dart at you in a pub on a whim. Because see, I'm on mushrooms and playing music, and writing poetry mate. I'm handsome, and blasting through life all a gawk, but you, you're a fucking whiner, and a bore. You always have been, to be Frank, although I'm Horus. You understand, that's why you read it, and whine, not imaginative enough to have done anything with your life. just another suit in a long line of complaints.
[10] Sing4Jesus! 23-Aug-06/9:58 AM Reply
Jesus BURPS and FARTS for yuou!
[10] deleted user 31-Aug-06/9:27 AM Reply
Very fucking Chaucerian. Sounds likemy Mummy.
[10] Sing4Jesus! 3-Sep-06/5:06 PM Reply
Jesus will not forgive you for this!
[10] Engelbert Humpalot 4-Sep-06/10:01 AM Reply
I can sniff it from here.
[n/a] Blind Fart 7-Dec-06/8:34 AM Reply
I never knew this website was so FARTY! Another lovely fart poem!
[10] Dr Toilet 15-Jan-07/8:53 AM Reply
Dr Toilet likes this one as he likes toilet things!
[n/a] Holy Tits 18-Jan-07/7:37 AM Reply
Very clever. I love farting.
[0] deleted user 8-Mar-07/9:19 AM Reply
priasmic
[10] mr cunt 11-Mar-07/11:14 AM Reply
Better than Shitshin
[10] deleted user 12-Mar-07/11:52 AM Reply
Excellent.Better than Rockmage and Shuushit.
[10] i love my midget 30-Mar-09/6:41 AM Reply
This is great. Everybody else are cunt-holes.