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Paradise

Member since 2004 · Posted 2 Aug 2006 · Edited 2 Aug 2006 · 4 comments

There I stood Looking into the eyes I thought I'd never see For the first time in my life My legs refused to move As much as I told them we had things to do and be They held their ground Perhaps they were tired of life on the road Who am I kidding? I knew My whole body knew Luckily, it was doing something about it It was doing nothing for the first time in years It was exactly what it had to do In her eyes I finally had the answer To every question I had ever asked Those eyes, those innocent dear eyes They were the answer My body still fought its impulse to run What did I know except motion? How did I end up here? A dark Manhatten alley on a dark Manhatten night A road no different from the thousands I crossed before Looking for quick thrills before the open road But those eyes pure and true reminded me Each wrong turn was carefully planned Every broken road leading me to this spot Staring into the only eyes I'd ever need The beauty gazing down from above She was a stranger in title alone She called me to come in We agreed to love each other madly

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4 comments

[7] Ranger 3-Aug-06/1:34 PM Reply

I'm not quite sure what I feel about this poem. It's not a bad poem, but it feels...empty, somehow. I think it's due to a lack of scenery (I crave the images) and a bit of triteness (eyes, broken road etc.) Even so, I'd say that with a certain amount of building upon, this will be a perfectly decent poem.

[8] Dovina 3-Aug-06/5:03 PM Reply

I found a glove along the road and wonder if itâs yours. Itâs worn and soiled, but soft of leather and pliable when worn. Finding its mate would be like looking into eyes I never expect to meet, and would surely cause my legs to refuse to move. Though I might think, âbeauty gazing down from aboveâ I would not say it, for coynessâ sake. Nor would I agree so readily to madly love, when so much time remains to savor it. And I would spell it, âManhattan.â

[n/a] oneglove › Dovina 4-Aug-06/5:54 AM Reply

i really need to spell check everything i write

[n/a] oneglove 4-Aug-06/5:42 AM Reply

i suppose i will explain this poem a bit, it was inspired by On the Road. As a nod to the book it was written stream of conscience and the last line and some of the imagery about the eyes are from the book (it is also named after the narrator). i liked that after 300 pages of traveling sal falls in love and settles down in a couple sentences. so this was an exploration of that moment, a revision would almost definitely help it because it was written so quickly, and sorry for misspelling manhattan.