poemranker ::Your Eyes by Dovina

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Free verse № 147584

Your Eyes

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 17 Oct 2006 · 9 comments

A fence, wandering across the land, along some ancient line, encloses and discloses, relates in its purpose, to other things, not itself— what it keeps and what it keeps out, the boundaries it proclaims, the openings it allows. Having walked the public side, and peeked in, I’m searching for the gate.

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mean 7.33 weighted 5.63 rank 2200 views 252 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

9 comments

[9] Ranger 17-Oct-06/3:07 PM Reply
Nice
[9] deleted user 17-Oct-06/6:59 PM Reply
sweet !
[9] drnick 17-Oct-06/8:45 PM Reply
This seems quite different from what you normally write, but I definately like it!
[n/a] Dovina › drnick 19-Oct-06/11:35 AM Reply
I was experimenting with a title that’s totally unrelated to the poem, at least on the surface. Glad you like it.
[9] half.italian 18-Oct-06/2:45 AM Reply
Great poem. It flows incredibly well for me until the last line. At first read I thought the reference to self bothered me, but now I'm not so sure. It just doesn't seem to fit with the rest.

Honestly, I don't understand (as other posters mention) how your work varies in quality so much. Farewell Kind Lover was another diamond, but most of the stuff in between I haven't liked very much. Anyway, this is great.
[n/a] Dovina › half.italian 19-Oct-06/11:34 AM Reply
I find it a strange thing that my work is not all considered good or that none of it is considered good. Yet it’s true as you say. I have some unusual views, I guess, and they don’t always come through well. Thanks for your comment.
[8] howl 24-Oct-06/8:34 AM Reply
Good apart from the last line which is a bit of a bum ending.
[n/a] Dovina › howl 24-Oct-06/11:03 AM Reply
Actually, “gate” may not be what I’m searching for. It’s more subtle than that; maybe just a fencing nail left loose at a cedar post, allowing a strand of barbed wire to be lowered enough to gain entrance. Thanks for the comment.
[n/a] Stephen Robins 29-Oct-06/10:22 AM Reply
How do you do it?