poemranker ::a voice poem by richa

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Free verse № 149254

a voice poem

by richa

Member since 2002 · Posted 22 Jan 2007 · 2 comments

The old track in disrepair in the throat of the embankment an old haunt the old signalman walks for miles every day every new gust rattling the tunnel grooves every time the man treading from the track he has me believing that he defies something that the dead man would continue as if nothing had happened that the signalman lives only because he is alert to the wind that should he put aside superstition and not care to step from the track the rattle in the tunnel grooves would do for him.

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mean 9.00 weighted 5.48 rank 2823 views 200 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[8] Dovina 22-Jan-07/4:31 PM Reply
I had to read it several times, where a few commas would have helped, and think such beginnings turn away readers, should it be one of the first of yours they read.
[9] Ranger 30-Jan-07/12:33 PM Reply
'The' happens far too much for me; excellent otherwise.