poemranker ::Alive at 95 by nypoet22

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Other № 152111

Alive at 95

by nypoet22

Member since 2006 · Posted 31 May 2007 · 2 comments

if i’m still alive at age ninety-five i hope to have loved before i arrive and held her with all that a man can give my labor, my breath each beat in my chest pulse through my fingers to comfort her aches and share her success with daughters or sons seeing each one grown with loves of their own at age ninety-five inhale all i’ve done pour it like sweet wine

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 5.00 weighted 5.00 rank 7956 views 213 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[7] Skamper 31-May-07/9:34 AM Reply
first two stanzas set me up with a rhythm, and the last three tripped me up a little...
[8] Ranger 4-Jun-07/3:05 AM Reply
Stanza 2 wants to follow s1's rhyme scheme, otherwise it looks like you had a good idea to start with but couldn't follow it through.