Matter of Will

I put the clip in and lock it Take it off safety preparing to make a hit Pull the trigger put one in the chest That night I laid a man to rest Put two more just for fun in his head Who ever knew I'd be the one to end up dead Sure I'm the one with the pen in hand Not the one who became one with the land Just cause you're breathing doesn't mean you're alive If life is a pool of sorrow then I took the high dive As I'm looking down the barrel of my m16 I think of when I joined to now and all in between Without remorse I take another's life I might as well cut my throat with a rusty knife Who am I to play god on this earth Do I deserve to witness my son's birth Yet I still think of all I've be hoping to see I start aiming at the next target infront of me As that's all they've become to me just targets An object in my way from getting back from when I went In the service a year ago thinking of what I left behind You are the best friend I could ever find As now I've come to appreicate things better I hope it's not to late before you get this letter When I look inside I can feel a warmth in my core Something that hasn't been there before A year ago I thought I could never kill Now i realize it's just a matter of will Will I let them cause harm to the ones around me Will I beable to live with what I have to see Will I have the courage to do what I know must be done Will I find the strength to pull the trigger on my gun