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Stroke It!

Member since 2007 · Posted 6 Nov 2007 · Edited 8 Nov 2007 · 6 comments

I want to brush sweetly dabble madly create something Astounding! I want to be EVERYTHING So - bards shall sing me angels weep blood for me I want the world to know I'm secretly Van Gogh disguised as picasso

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2 votes so far. Yours would make 3.2 votes so far

6 comments

[7] INTRANSIT 7-Nov-07/6:53 AM Reply

The word -could- gives the bards the option of doing so. "We could sing this. Nah, lets play Jarts."

There may be an even better/more active/forceful word than -will or -want to. (not the first line)

Give me more details about s-1-3. (Everything) is too broad a specrum, I think. Try to narrow it.

Like I said to dovina, It'sa jumping off point.

[n/a] Skamper › INTRANSIT 8-Nov-07/2:35 AM Reply

LOL...ok..changed could to shall - although not quite what I had in mind either, but it's better, no need to give those bards a choice huh? I want them compelled to sing, although that's not the right word for this either...hmmm

Words like 'want' and 'everything' give this exactly what I needed, an ego boost...a demand...a spoiltness...an impulse to let loose an ambition...a little dream

[8] nypoet22 7-Nov-07/5:00 PM Reply

extra points for shameless name-dropping ;)

[n/a] Skamper › nypoet22 8-Nov-07/2:38 AM Reply

:) thanx

[9] deleted user 11-Nov-07/2:33 AM Reply

I like EVERYTHING about this poem from your use of enjambment to the title--the title rocks!

[n/a] Skamper › deleted user 15-Nov-07/1:48 PM Reply

thanks :)