poemranker ::Radio Scan by Blindproject217

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Free verse № 154970

Radio Scan

Member since 2003 · Posted 7 Mar 2008 · 2 comments

I fell in love with a girl. A broken mess of stone and plaster and she filled in my gaps. I fell in love with you. A bright set of china glasses that all came crashing down. But what if she loves me? Its the end of radio silence. A faint sound through the hum of snow That always keeps on falling. So Ill turn the knobs to tune you in. And hold my breath for the shocking conclusion, but its always to be continued. And I should lose interest in the plot thats thinning but your pictures show you aging and its a reflection of the time I'm losing. It's a mirror pointed at the past showing me how I should have stayed. How I ought to be with you. And now my memories turn to fairytales as I forget all your little quirks all the little things that I made me leave. And now the picture that comes to mind is one of my own invention, and I'm okay with that. I'm alright with making you perfect. It's an exaggeration that is more than forgivable in your case. I'm okay with denial. It will help me sleep tonight.

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mean 8.00 weighted 5.36 rank 3380 views 142 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[8] jessicazee 10-Mar-08/11:56 PM Reply
I dig this. But check your punctuation...i.e. "I'll (line 11), it's (13), that's (14), it's (16), etc., and a few typos ("all the little things that I made me leave"). Dang, I'm a nitpicky editor monster now, but I only take the time because with some editing you've got something here. 8.
[8] Dark Angle 12-Mar-08/1:28 AM Reply
I like it a lot. But I don't get why the denial will help the character sleep.