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Fake Door County Trip (Free verse) by jessicazee
Teeth with your lights on: white hairs, dusty shoulders, your socks and underneaths very yellowed and your armpits hopefully unlovable I want to tell you that you are unbleachable For the last two years I kept a white vellum envelope thick with ragged coupons in case that one time our trip to the store would be handbasketed, I'd find you between "natural redheads" and "big asses" before the cleared history when my birthday trip up North was fun and you told me my hair "looked better," that made me feel so good, when I turned older than you on the thumb of Wisconsin's palm.


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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.094852
Overall Rank: 6169
Posted: March 30, 2009 9:46 PM PDT; Last modified: March 30, 2009 9:46 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Christof @ 87.115.33.229 | 6-Apr-09/6:32 AM | Reply
There a plenty of things I don't understand here - I'm being very stupid today, blame it on jet lag as I've just flown back from New York. For one, the title is meaningless to me; secondly, I have no idea what you mean about your trip to the store being handbasketed. However, I love the first stanza and the conversational tone of this.
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