DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Eight

Member since 2002 · Posted 17 Sep 2002 · 3 comments

He took me there There. Where- Good quality cardboard Hides Bad stuff. A blow pop? Some candy, maybe? Oh, I know you like it. Orange is your favorite. Come on now Seven-year olds- Can do better than that You're eight. Big is bad Small is good Big in small- Is even better. He took me there.

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mean 4.42 weighted 4.57 rank 12583 views 116 View voting details →

12 votes so far. Yours would make 13.12 votes so far

3 comments

[4] god'swife 19-Sep-02/4:26 PM Reply

This lacks compassion. It's scary which is good but you need to develop your characters more. Read 'No Angel Came"

[7] limonade 4-Oct-02/9:03 PM Reply

I read this one, hated it, read it again and had to raise my score. The imagery is good. It's eery. The last line seems anticlimactic, though. If you built up to it the way you built the rest of the poem from the sam at the beginning, it may gain that punch that is missing. I think the characterisation is fine; anything more would almost be too intimate. It is, indeed, very cold.

[9] -=SeTTle=- 3-Jan-03/5:38 PM Reply

good work, you get a/.d d a a 8 no 9 no 10 no 9. NO u8! 9! OKAY 9!a