Other № 158874

Dad

Member since 2009 · Posted 18 Nov 2009 · 2 comments

Dreaming of you takes its toll So much it burns my soul You weren't there much Didn't keep in touch Your behind bars now All I could say is wow! You let me down Oh man what now... I'd rather drown One last chance to make it right You gonna take it or put up a fight Its time for you to be my dad Ran away before... am I really that bad?

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1 vote so far. Yours would make 2.1 vote so far

2 comments

[3] jh99 27-Feb-10/1:44 PM Reply

Too many " forced rhymes ". Try alternating the rhyme scheme or dropping it altogether and use different descriptions for the emotions, make it fresh and original that way.

[n/a] Sheeva › jh99 29-Jul-10/3:21 PM Reply

Thanx the rhymes werent actually forced though... my words tend to flow in rhyming form.