poemranker ::Loser by Freethinker1602

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Free verse № 159233

Loser

Member since 2003 · Posted 30 Nov 2009 · 2 comments

can some one come hold my hand I'm so alone and hurt so bad I hate hearing all these sell out songs Losers singin about their love We all get delt a bad hand every now and then it's how you play your game that makes the difference Some times life might throw a sucker punch fate may try to keep you down but we can show life we are stronger and laugh in its face when we are victorious I've been through life I've had some fun I've gotten in trouble and lost a lot My heart and soul are hurting And fate has made sure to bring me to my knees We all get delt a bad hand every now and then it's how you play your game that makes the difference Some times life might throw a sucker punch fate may try to keep you down but we can show life we are stronger and laugh in its face when we are victorious I'm drowning and fading and no one sees my desperate battle to cling to me I know I'm losing the last thing I have, me I'm losing myself and the hand life delt I think I might fold We all get delt a bad hand every now and then it's how you play your game that makes the difference Some times life might throw a sucker punch fate may try to keep you down but we can show life we are stronger and laugh in its face when we are victorious The towel is about to leave my hand I'm about to throw it in, gonna wave a white flag I have a little oil left in the lamp to keep shining to keep me on my way I'm afraid soon I won't go further I just need to be strong and help myself I cling to hope that some one will see me some one who will care enough to help me save myself We all get delt a bad hand every now and then it's how you play your game that makes the difference Some times life might throw a sucker punch fate may try to keep you down but we can show life we are stronger and laugh in its face when we are victorious

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mean 1.00 weighted 4.81 rank 10955 views 243 View voting details →

1 vote so far. Yours would make 2.1 vote so far

2 comments

[1] jh99 28-Feb-10/12:22 AM Reply
Apart from Tom Petty, and some Bollywood films, Free Verse lyrics are rare. This however has a lot of clichés and the pacing is way off. These do read as lyrics with the repeated stanzas. You need to seriously rethink your efforts on this and try to write something more original.
[n/a] Freethinker1602 › jh99 7-Mar-10/8:02 PM Reply
notice how all the original crap is all the same? thanks for commenting.